nut hugger
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Fuck appropriateness.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
