11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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