i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
