Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
