batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize