He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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