Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
