Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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