he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
