friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
