honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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