I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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