If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
