So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it's like iHOP with fire
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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