Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
