You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
