I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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