a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
