On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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