Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
