why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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