i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
