There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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