Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
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