Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
