Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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