she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
