is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
