Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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