I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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