i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
