yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
