sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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