You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
