that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
