my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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