we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize