I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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