I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
