No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
