She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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