I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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