Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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