Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
