Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
