About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
