guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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