Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
