was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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