new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
