No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You took a bar mat shot.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
