You can't motorboat a personality
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
