Do vagina's smell?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
