My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
