you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
