A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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