dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize