we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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