dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
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There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
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YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"