I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think your dad took our porno
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet