Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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