We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize