I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
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I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
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I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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