I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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