Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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