nut hugger
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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