Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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