PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
