it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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